The Trump Treehouse of Tall Stories, Treason & Tyranny - "I Am The Con Man" - Song

So with a last Friday night's time on my hands (the cats could wait a few extra hours for dinner I thought - they weren't happy...but then they were...magic) I finally got a chance to sit down and produce a version of this one, ala "I Am The Walrus." To anyone who may have chanced by my door? Apologies for what you heard as frightening acapela wailing coming from the other side. Didn't mean to startle or to worry you. I'm OK.

I Am The Con Man

I am me as I love me and you are me
And we love me together
See how we plumb we're pigs for the dumb
See dollars run
I'm genius

Sitting on a tax cut
Waiting for some yen to fly
Corporate stock big buy back, stupid farmer loyals
Man you're all bunch of rubes
You let your Trump grow long

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube

Mr Mrs Congress sitting
Pretty always at my beck and call
See how they buy with a gleam in their eye
See how they buy
My buuuuuulllshit....
They're buuuuuuying....they're buuuuuying...I'm lyyyyyyyyyyying!

Yellow ting-ed dollars
Making me a buck or three
Trumpy props'll bring it home, tradeymarks'll get it done
Boy I am a wealthy man
I sold the White House down

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube

...Sitting in a rose-ed garden
Waiting chance to lie
And if the lie don't play
I'll own my fake by keeping up a perfect face...

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube goo goo goo ga-rube

No one tells me what to do it's just the base that's thinking that I'm true
See them form a mob call enemies a slob
See how they cry
For vengeance

No one checking numbers, they take me at my less than word
Money out of pocket, suck it up they musty
Man they are so dumb believe that this is something good

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube goo goo ga-rube, goo goo ga-rube ga goo goo ga-rube ga goo

Last Week In Review

Just a quick breakdown of some lowlights from last week that was.

Man-child threw a hissy after his intended photo-op master negotiator victory went south and instead proudly pronounced his future pride of shutting down the government just before Christmas if he didn't get his ego wall (stomping feet, pressed fingers, pursed lips, shit thrown).

Kellyanne "Carott Nose" Conway tweeted some words in a vacuum to "The Chief" (not the honorific she surely wanted to make it seem but just an IQ simplistic short for Chief of Staff) General John Kelly and his family...thoughts and prayers that they may be able to somehow, someday, someway find for John some semblance of the white enabled self respect and credibility he held so dear until he tumbled down a deep dark orange rabbit hole where all such things are forever lost.

Mick "Weasel" Mulvaney, three hundred and thirtieth or so on the list, with lips firmly placed, was named acting "The Chief" giving him a chance to finally take a break from both dreaming a fully realized Paul Ryan-esque draconian budget dream and screwing consumer protections.

Interior Secretary Zinke resigned hoping to maybe step out of and ahead of the new swamp he has so enjoyed swimming in like many before him. He'd like to take his expensive door and some of his guns and animal trophies with him if that's alright.

A child died. Again, with only dreams to blame.

Press Secretary Hucksterbee said she hopes her legacy will be that she has tried to be "transparent and honest" every day (cue canned sitcom laughter)

And, in my favorite moment of the week, Google CEO Sundar Pichai had to explain to Congress why googling "idiot" shows Donald Trump. He somehow restrained himself from responding "Well...duh?"

I know I said "Week in Review" but this might have just been last Tuesday or was it maybe Thursday...I don't know...so much surreal and stupid shit happens so often that it all melds...hard to tell what constitutes a week these days. Now a new moment of required Zen...(Cheers Jon Stewart)

Kittens in paws running fastly...away from the week in review. (starring Blink)

The Trump Treehouse of Tall Stories, Treason & Tyranny - Musical Interlude - "Great Ego Wall" - The Lyrics

Well, it's just been a damned musical interlude type weekend now hasnt' it? One more singalong from the Trump Treehouse. Invite your friends on stage...raise a beer...cheer the hecklers.

Great Ego Wall

Today is gonna be my day
That we'll build it Red White and Blue
You know your dollars I will throw
At a problem that I've warned you'll rue
No, I will build hysteria
A nation's call to hate and watch it grow

Brown beat, we'll get 'em in a sweep
At the border stopping all trespass
Moms / kids we're evening the score
Don't worry it's a lighter gas
Just don't believe they're innocent
I'm busy building fears
Here and now

Cause all my no bid builders got a handshake
They're loyal friends I promised them a real take
There are many ways for me
To force you to my will
And I'll show you how

Cause baby
A wall is gonna be what saves me
It's after all
A Great Ego Wall

Write a bill attach the money now
Or the government it won't get paid
I'll make up numbers for the base
Cause my magic math it really plays
250 Bill-ion dollars lost is what I'll say
What's 25?

Cause all the GOP they do my bidding
I want this fucking wall and I'm not kidding
Even Cruz is on my side, he's such a spineless wuss
And he loves me now

Cause baby
The wall is my sure twenty twenty
I just gotta ball
This Great Ego Wall

I said pay me
Your money's gonna be what saves me
And I want it all
My Great Ego Wall

Don't play me
The Browns are the Devil's playthings
When done we'll have a big flag group sing
We'll shoot guns in the air to new King.....

The Trump Treehouse of Tall Stories, Treason & Tyranny - Musical Interlude - "I Am The Con Man" - The Lyrics

Hey! Anyone up for a singalong? I know I am.

I Am The Con Man

I am me as I love me and you are me
And we love me together
See how we plumb we're pigs for the dumb
See dollars run
I'm genius

Sitting on a tax cut
Waiting for some yen to fly
Corporate stock big buy back, stupid farmer loyals
Man you're all bunch of rubes
You let your Trump grow long

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube

Mr Mrs Congress sitting
Pretty always at my beck and call
See how they buy with a gleam in their eye
See how they buy
My buuuuuulllshit....
They're buuuuuuying....they're buuuuuying...I'm lyyyyyyyyyyying!

Yellow ting-ed dollars
Making me a buck or three
Trumpy props'll bring it home, tradeymarks'll get it done
Boy I am a wealthy man
I sold the White House down

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube

...Sitting in a rose-ed garden
Waiting chance to lie
And if the lie don't play
I'll own my fake by keeping up a perfect face...

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube goo goo goo ga-rube

No one tells me what to do it's just the base that's thinking that I'm true
See them form a mob call enemies a slob
See how they cry
For vengeance

No one checking numbers, they take me at my less than word
Money out of pocket, suck it up they musty
Man they are so dumb believe that this is something good

I am the Charlatan
You are the simpletons
I am the Con Man
Goo goo ga-rube goo goo ga-rube, goo goo ga-rube ga goo goo ga-rube ga goo