The Trump Treehouse of Tall Stories, Treason & Tyranny - "Trump D In The Lie With Zirconia" - Song

When I was a kid, my first girlfriend was the Beatles. Mom even approved of all the time we spent together, and it was quite a lot (no kissing by the way...I knew Cynthia Lennon was hot). I thought, in my kidness, that her approval had to have come from her, of course, knowing them personally. She had emigrated to America from their equal small England right around the same time as Ed Sullivan and just before she met "Joe Frankenberry from New York" and then there was a me. They shared accents so they must have known each other right? I mean, how could they not?

So the first album I ever bought was Live at the Hollywood Bowl...check that. The first album I ever bought was the Star Wars soundtrack, Rexall Drugs, Mahopac, New York (pronounced Mayo-Pack for anyone that might be reading a Ma-Ho-Pack into this and getting all huffy) right across from the lake and just down the street from Rodack's, home of the finest post you made it through church nods again treat sandwiches known to man. That album cover would soon be the repository of all of the stickers I collected from the Star Wars card packs I spent way too much of my paperboy money on (yes, I lived a time of paperboys). I somehow thought that buying that album and those cards might get me a bit closer to that magical galaxy. It was a little dissapointing.

But the first REAL album (apologies Mr Williams) I ever bought was the Beatles Live at the Hollywood Bowl. He doesn't know me but a "Speilbergian" suburbia was inspired by myself and countless other then kids as I rode my bike to Mammoth Mart, too many miles and years away today but a mere blip for us back then, with one intent. Come home with that record. I rode, one handed, all the way back to my bedroom using that extra hand, outstretched, to hold that prize away from any possible bike's bounce handlebar/wheel damage while also cursing any car that passed endangering such. It was surely around this time when I did, eventually, get that prize to my bedroom, and because of my endless replays of "Twist and Shout", "Ticket to Ride", "A Hard Day's Night" and the rest, that Mom probably wished she had discovered vodka.

I bring this up only because I've built a few tunes here in the Attic courtesy of the Beatles. Unintentional really...to start. Maybe it's because I can "sing" them a bit easier knowing them so well, maybe it's because I'd like to think the "lads" would agree with my tuned sentiments, maybe the songs sort of lend themselves or maybe it's just because this was the time I wish I could go back to, a cliche'd innocence, when mom and dad, when all of our mom's and dad's trusted us, trusted us out there on our bikes, trusted us to be smart and be ourselves without worry and when the future didn't look so dim, when our present then wasn't as fucked up as this current now.

Language, I know...sorry Ma.

So another tune, another attempt to keep sane in an insane world.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Trump D In The Lie With Zirconia

Picture yourself in a swamp where truth quivers
With Orange tinged lies and white chocolate tries
A Senate adores you, you gloat in the glory
Of lapdog and sycophant cries

Cult like adornments white lettered on red
Witlessly cover their heads
Cast for the dumbest with blind in their eyes
And you've won

Trump D in the Lie with Zirconia
Trump D in the Lie with Zirconia
Trump D in the Lie with Zirconia
Ahhhhhhhhh....

Trump dumb dumb down to a negative measure
Where marshmallow people cry victim's sad sighs
Backwards they go at behest of their master
Where white anger's dumb it does rise

News outlets try all while ducking their heads
From Orange shouts looking for blood
But still Nielsen calls with their 30 coins pay
And they're done

Trump D in the Lie he's not heaven sent
Trump D in the Lie Sarah go get bent
Trump D's GOP's on a Hell descent
Ahhhhhhhhh....

Picture a sad orange cream sickle nightmare
Where real is accused of being the lie
Actual lies are then trotted state news style
A Fox truth democracy dies

Trump D in the Lie he's not heaven sent
Trump D in the Lie Sarah go get bent
Trump D's GOP's on a Hell descent
Ahhhhhhhhh....

Trump D in the Lie with gold's foolish  

Trump D in the Lie with 49'ers
Trump D in the Lie with alchemy
Ahhhhhhhhh....

Trump D in the Lie with Zirconia
Trump D in the Lie with Zirconia
Trump D in the Lie with Zirconia
Ahhhhhhhhh...

A Motorcycle's Youth

Dearest Son (licensed dirt/road bike),

Mother and I wanted to let you know that that wheelie you felt the need to perform alongside a gentleman's car from one traffic light until he pulled off just before the next (maybe a quarter mile or so) where he stopped for a to-go from Popeye's for his dinner?

It was quite impressive, as juvenile feats of stupidity go, especially as the kids may like just that sort of thing these days. We don't know, being old an out of touch of course as you always remind us. Ahhhh, youth. But, at least, keep wearing that helmet son. We know it may soon come in handy though we pray not. We love you after all.

The gang at Popeye's, when the gentleman relayed this quick story, while ordering his 5 piece, mild not spicy, spicy hasn't sat well lately, all agreed that your worried manhood shouldn't hinder you from future displays of the same such stupidity. They may even offer an extra piece of chicken for the laugh. But again though, the helmet, please, always the helmet. We're also SOOO relieved that you didn't fall after that tire hung in the air for such a long stretch. But at least you can sleep well knowing that that gentleman's car was small. It might not have been that much of a bump...bump...anyway, if things had gone awry.

Don't forget to continue to send us postcards from stupid by the way. Your mother and I treasure them. And your handwriting has gotten so much better.

XxOo

Ps. Please, in the future, try to impress someone other than an another gentleman in an unimpressive car. Your mother, and I, would love grandchildren.

Pss. I think I've got the gout.

A Cat Guy and a Weekend

I'm not sure if you've noticed but I'm something of a cat guy. Yeh, who knew huh?

Well, while my landlady and also dear friend, Celie, has been enjoying some much needed sun and down time away from the cold and dire "tune in tonight to find out how we will all die" cold weather predictions, I've been minding the kit kaboodle.

Now there are, of course, mine. My Bella Girl in her (and my dearly missed Shoes's) first of my 2 computer chairs right next to me as I type, always, kitten china shop Blink and some warm laundry's pause, old quirky, fragile girl Mimi (Memes) finding that same warm pause and Cricket the Blind of the wailing meow quietly grabbing a cat nap on a Steve bed.

But there is also a Honey Bob Tail, or "Boo" as I like to call her, the uber cool Lebowski-like dude Bruce and his seeming lazy eye, big boy Buck in his finest of tux, Florida and her perfect orange, Handsome, perfectly named and who's always a nose to nose swivel head nudge with me on my come homes, Lola of the silent meow, Sharky my assistant chef at dinner time and the aloof, secretive Trucker who just appears. Really, he just appears. No idea from where.

Missing for the moment? Dolly who you can sometimes find in the sink and say "Hello Dolly" with a musical nod, Millie who you can often never find and Cujo who has earned his name but is still, though be wary mere humans, a good boy. Oh, and there is the other Bella, of bird type, who decided to tap tap around on the hardwood and check out the me taking pictures. She is not one to be excluded.

How was your weekend?

Sometimes...We Own Time, If Only For A Moment

Sometimes you just have a night where time it seems to slow down, where it seems to stand still. Now, obviously, that's not possible, as time doesn't slow down, it is, after all, time. It marches always at the same clip forward not mindful of or caring for us at all, relentless bastard that it is, but still there are those moments where it really does feel as if it gives us a pause. Like maybe those nights where you dream, vivid, colorful full blown movie-like dreams, and you wake to check the actual here and now time. 4 or so am. You get up to pee and you go back to bed/sleep, jumping right back into that movie of dreams, scene after scene playing out in all it's down to the last detail glory and you roll over and wake again. It's now just 4:24. And you've lived an entire movie or more it seems, hours upon hours i what feels like real time. You roll back over. This movie of your dreams continues, maybe even to its finale, and the next time you wake it's only 4:42. Wonderful that way sometimes huh?

That's the time slow I've enjoyed tonight (this morning), though fully awake, in the quiet of a perfect warm colored little lamp lit apartment as I tinker with words while 4 cats sleep undisturbed by my soft foot putzing around this perfect.

When I can spin and roll back in my second computer chair to take a walkaround without waking my Bella laying right next to me in the first, when I can do said soft foot putzing past sleeping cat kitten tornado Blink and she stays put on the futon on a just worn Steve sweatspant, not caring of my movements, not even raising an eye or an ear, when I can I can check an old, fragile, quirky Mimi girl (Memes) on a shelf in my computer desk or a Cricket the Blind leaned up asleep on my pillow on the bed while I do quiet? Yeh, time, it does indeed seem to stand still. I'm good with such a moment. Time? I think I just owned ya...if however briefly.

A Boy And His Cat In A Cone Plastic Hat

For three plus years now I've had this single line rattling round my noggin, bumping into shit. "A Boy And His Cat In A Cone Plastic Hat." A Dr Seussian type line that has never let me be (hopefully no disservice to the Doc here). I've written thousands of words around it in my head over these years as I remember Shoes and I and our 11 too short years together and the walks he and I would take around the drive/roadway and parking lots that circled our apartment complex during his last month or so. It was a time for me that was as equally heartbreaking as it was wondrous. I know I've brought up Shoes often, so much so that it may seem tired, but he was one of those friends that needs be remembered and brought up often for what he was. A reminder of who we are. A reminder of what is/was true. A reminder of friend. I think, maybe, I've finally got this down now. Bear with me.

A Boy And His Cat In A Cone Plastic Hat 

There was a boy and his cat in a cone plastic hat 

Who found themselves walking this way and way that

In circles round home on a night by night trip

He talkin' cat list'nin'
At a calm peaceful clip

You see

The boy’s cat in this cone plastic hat was not well

And the boy he had many long stories to tell

To his dearest of friends of 11 grand years

But trying to do so without shedding his tears

So they walked and he talked on these perfect (s) of nights
Allowing this cat in the cone plastic hat
Some flights
Footed outside
For the first time in his life
A gift from the boy to this cat's great delight

And the cat in the cone plastic hat listened just right
Though now minus one ear from a Doctor's need stop
The other had might
Enough to catch stories spun high in the air
By his boy who he followed with great love and great care

Along their way they passed people and pets
Both large and both small
To the cat in the cone plastic hat though
They were all tall
But he came to grow big as they petted and gushed
With attention he loved
As they marveled his gifts to walk with no rush
With his boy whose smile was just some big hearty hugs

This cat in the cone plastic hat waited by day
For the sound of boy's car
To home come from what seemed so
So far
Far away
To make
Way
Stairs
Down,
No dilly
No dally
As time for him now was no longer an ally

You see

The cat in the cone plastic hat knew he hadn't this time
He wanted their friendship to grow and to shine
But for this now shortest of moments
In the grandness of things
They would stride steady together with the greatness of kings

It was stories of boy that were of utmost import
In walks round their round he would offer support
While cat sniffing cat checking
Getting caught in the brush
His cone plastic hat it was flush
Filled with tales flung way far
That dearly so meant
So,
So so much

There was even a day
This cat in the cone plastic hat
Got chance just to play
In grass green soft
And to lead while, of course, always knowing the way
Minus his hat
Oh glorious day
Then bringing boy back to that place they called home
Where all with the boy it was always the known

But there were things this cat in the cone plastic hat knew needed be said
Of what would become in his absence of stead
Of what boy would do after the gone
Where time it would shorten but still feel so
Long

The cat in the cone plastic hat knew just what
What knew of just such
What knew sure of be that too long
A day
To help him stay strong
To make it not much
He'd say

Goodbye
He thought
In life's wonder of walks
This cat who was now at in his cone plastic hat
But remembering time where this wasn't just that
When play was a shoelace tossed long and just right
For wondrous of times and of silly fun fights
Of a mouse down to chase
Or a titter hand tat
And all while wearing no such special hat

But paw forward he would
This way and way that
His best boy in the world as well as he could
To friends who he knew he should
Surely point true
To others in fur and some so in skin
But still remind them that his name was Shoes

Always Shoes

You see

He resides now in heart held so very so strong
Of a nightstand's still perch
Sensing short winded nightmares long
So sudden jerks
To come down and so sweetly lay to boy's left
To calm him to know that all was still well
That there would still be so many more stories to tell
That there will always be some more to be said

Now sleep just go back
"We're hittin' the rack"
As you always would say
Ahead of tomorrow's a brand new grand day
Rest your boy head
The begin has its ends
But ends beg begin...always
Get some sleep for right now
At least
My dearest of friends

...............




cat typing   --------------------------------------------------------------kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioooookkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Trump & His Mob: Nothing If Not Unintentionally Funny

One thing I have noted over the last two years of this Presidency, besides of course the clear attempts to undermine our Democracy along with the rule of law, the obvious corruption of Trump’s Administration from the top on down and the unconstitutional practices et al is that somehow Trump, the White House, Press Secretary Hucksterbee, all his congressional sycophants and State News Propagandizing pundits have been able to maintain their unintentional sense of humor, in the face of setbacks, obvious hypocrisy and of course the ONLSAUGHT of lies fact checked on a daily basis. Must give credit where credit is due.

For instance, this morning, on my way in to work, I heard on CBS 880 that the White House says that tonight in his second State of the Union address Trump will try to convey a message of unity. Now ya gotta admit, that’s pretty unintentionally funny huh? I mean, from the campaign through the last two years, Trump has lived by the motto “Us Vs Them…and it’s really bad to be a them." Being divisive is squarely in Trump's wheelhouse so to think he’ll try and call for unity amid his expected barrage of lies is quite a stretch and pretty unintentionally funny, especially knowing that no one has bothered to explain to Trump that unity DOESN’T mean blind obeisance.

Earlier this week Hucksterbee said at a meeting of Christian Broadcasters “I think God calls all of us to fill different roles at different times and I think that he wanted Donald Trump to become president, and that's why he's there and I think he has done a tremendous job in supporting a lot of the things that people of faith really care about".

Exactly! Like wanting to protect THEIR “religious liberty” by taking away YOUR rights and passing judgement over everyone else by legislating a cherry-picked Bible in order to send us all backwards even faster than the speed of light...the speed of stupid. Now, other than the rumble you felt under your feet as some of the drafters of the Constitution rolled over in their graves in unison you, in this case as well, gotta admit that Hucksterbee saying Trump was God’s choice is really unintentionally funny especially knowing that if there is truly a god he wouldn’t be that fucking cruel or have such a sadistic sense of humor.

Hucksterbee also went on later to try and explain, YET AGAIN, in that special dismissive & condescendingly disingenuous way of hers, as she follows the propaganda handbook repetition section to the letter, how and why Trump has done more in just two years than any other president in history, something we also hear him try to convince us of ad nauseum. Yeh, some more unintentionally funny shit right there.

And just a couple of days ago Madeleine Westerhout, who is the SAP & Director of Oval Office Operations, whatever that is - correction, we do know what a sap is, especially in this case, said in a tweet bemoaning the leaking of Presidential schedules that show just how ‘hard’ he's really working that “This POTUS is working harder for the American people than anyone in recent history”. Damn, this whole gang is just a sure fire fucking unintentional laugh riot now wouldn’t you say?

Hannity opened his mouth again. Unintentional laugh riot.

Laura Ingraham tweeted again. Unintentional laugh riot.

Tucker Carlson was undeservedly superior again. Unintentional laugh riot.

Kellyanne exists. Unintentional laugh riot.

We’ll have to wait and see how tonight goes. My guess is that any call for unity will come as more of an accusation against the “them” than as any attempt to even pay lip service to it. It will also come somewhere within a shitload of lies and yet another call to satisfy his ego with a monument to it across the Southern border.

One thing that is guaranteed though, Donald Trump will most assuredly maintain his unintentional sense of humor.

The Trump Treehouse of Tall Stories, Treason and Tyranny - Ep #14: "Red, White & Not Blue Legos"

A bit of a catch up as it has been a while

Players

Ben Carson "Benfred": Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, something of which he knows nothing. De facto butler, a Batman's Alfred or "Benfred" here to that guy. Has "bootstraps" tattooed on his ankles as a reminder to those less fortunate.

Donnie: That guy.

Other Players: There have been some and will be others but don't know yet. Haven't finished writing this. Will revise when done (well now, that's a bit of a loop huh?)

//////////////////////////////////

Ben: Are those Legos sir?

Donnie: (sitting cross legged on his faux Oval Office rug...Legos strewn all around him) Yes Ben. Mommy got these for me.

Ben: Mommy?

Donnie: Well, who else would get me Legos? Sheesh.

Ben: You sure?

Donnie: Ummm...(rolling his eyes) ...yeh.

Ben: But your mommy is long dead sir. Kellyanne?

Donnie: Ben, you know me and my life too well...I'll have to note that with the Secret Service by the way...no offense. Can never be too careful.

Ben: None taken sir. Let 'em know I'm Christian, have a flag on my lapel and am only black on the outside...just in case.

Donnie: Will do.

Ben: Did she get you this over sized map of the Southern border as well?

Donnie: She did. Pretty colors. The big one is Texas I think.

Ben: It is.

Donnie: I knew it!

Ben: Your geography is getting better.

Donnie: I know huh? That one is easy though. Texas - big state. Cruz - big lapdog. Wife - big ugly -Texas.

Ben: Well alrighty then. What's the one next to it Sir?

Donnie: Is it...wait...I got this...is it another State?

Ben: It is. Damn you're good!

Donnie: (proudly) That. I. Am.

Ben: So what's with all the Legos by the way?

Donnie: I'm practicing.

Ben: Practicing what sir?

Donnie: Building a wall.

Ben: Surely you have friends already lined up to do that for you?

Donnie: I do...good friends...blindly loyal friends. Ring kiss types with a shitload of secrets that I know down to every detail. Lots of blown sunshine and no-bid back room handshake contracts. Friends that would run through a wall for me...out of fear mostly...but legally of course and without any imaginary women bound with duct tape in the trunks of their cars. But I want to...

Ben: He He. That's funny sir.

Donnie: Imaginary women bound with duct tape in the trunks of their cars? What the fuck is wrong with you Benfred?

Ben: No...run THROUGH a wall?...and you want to BUILD a wall?

Donnie: What the hell are you talking about Benfred?

Ben: Sorry, it's just that...

Donnie: They can't very well run through a wall for me that's not built yet now can they? That's why I need the money. Jesus Ben!

Ben: Oh, my bad, you were speaking metaphorically.

Donnie: What?

Ben: You were speaking metaphorically?

Donnie: ?

Ben: It's when you use a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an action that is not literally applicable and...

Donnie: ??

Ben: ...you Ok sir? Your eyes seem to be glazing over a little and...is that drool?

Donnie: Dammit!

Ben: What sir?

Donnie: There's blue Legos in here! I specifically asked Mommy in my wish list for only red and white Legos! (starts to well up)

Ben: Hey hey sir, it's Ok. We can get you another set of Legos with only red and white bricks.

Donnie: (sniffling) You sure?

Ben: Of course.

Donnie: (brightening up a bit) We need a new flag by the way. Do you think you can get a set that includes Lego gun turrets, Lego high powered water hoses and Lego tear gas bombs?

Ben: Ummmm...well...we can certainly try.

Donnie: How about a set with with small Lego tents, Lego cages, Lego barracks. Lego barbed wire fences and Lego children...that's the cutest thing EVER...small lego children.

Ben: Ummmm...

Donnie: C'mon Ben. I've seen all the Lego movie documentaries. They've got everything, even Batman. You know I'm thinking that we could set up a Lego Bat signal from the top of the White House, just in case we need him. A guy like that could come in handy and would make for some great PR. I mean, who doesn't love Batman right? The base would eat it up. Real hero, like me only his feet don't hurt...though he is a little short...but we can work that out with the right camera angles...and his voice...it's a bit dramatic...a bit gravelly...not quite the lilting, comforting remedial tenor of mine but I'm sure we could coach him.

Ben: I'll reach out to his people.

Donnie: You do that. Mommy got me another oversized map by the way, but I don't understand it.

Ben: It's all of North America

Donnie: North America?

Ben: It's the continent we live on.

Donnie: Does it come with bagels AND cream cheese and free coffee?

Ben: Huh?

Donnie: (looking at it) There's also a jagged line across the top...wait...is there another border?

Ben: Yeh...north of us sir.

Donnie: But I thought we were the top of the world?

Ben: I know, we are, metaphorically speak...

Donnie: (drool)

Ben: We all think that sir but geographic...

Donnie: (drool twice)

Ben: It's Canada sir.

Donnie: Who-ada?

Ben: Canada.

Donnie: Hold on. So you're telling me there's another border? Shit, I'm gonna need more Legos.

Ben: No, I think you're good sir.

Donnie: You sure? But it's another border. Lot's of lawlessness...new caravans...Chinese not cheap Candian drugs...violent women and children...terrorists disguised as Mooses and...umm...Canadian gangs being nice...

Ben: Mooses?

Donnie: A group of Moose Ben. Crazed Mooses Ben. Mooses that mean us harm. Damn you're dim.

Ben: But they're friendly sir...

Donnie: ...don't some of them speak French?...

Ben: ...painfully friendly and accommodating...and they're mostly white...

Donnie: ...freedom fries Benfred...only freedom fries with my breakfast...wait...did you say they're white?

Ben: Wow, freedom fries...that's a throwback. Yes they're mostly white.

Donnie: Well that's a wrinkle. Maybe I can talk to them then...NO...never mind...they speak French...that's not American...

Ben: You mean English?

Donnie: No! American! Gotta speak American Benfred. Plus Macron is such a wuss...such a Frenchified wussy wuss...that's my next next juvenile nickname, "wussy wuss" and demand! A northern wall...across that jagged line thing..

Ben: You mean border?

Donnie: Yes, that.

Ben: We'll definitely have to get you some more Legos.

Donnie: Yes you will. Now close the door. It's cold in here. Global warming my ass.

Ben: But scientifically...

Donnie: Benfred!!

Ben: Sorry. Science. My bad.