Thursday, January 21, 2010

Some New Notes and a Lack of Snuggies

Well here we are entrenched in the cold of a new January and I was thinking, wouldn’t this be just the time to finally get a Snuggie? To wrap myself up in the warm comfort of this continuing fad on my couch with the TV remote would be the perfect remedy for a night dropping into the 20’s and possibly the teens again. But, alas, I heard that the Snuggie folks have temporarily halted their commercials and sales because I’m not the only person with this dreamily soft, fleecy vision. Apparently all of North America has the same idea and because there are one or two or a few gazillion other people on this continent with me feeling the same chill the Snuggie gang realized they couldn’t possibly supply the demand.

I’ve been forced to alter my vision a touch.

So, in the absense of donning a wonderfully warm and fashionable blanket with sleeves that I could even wear to an outdoor sporting event while high fiving my similarly adorned fellow bleacher bums I’ve instead grabbed a few long sleeve thermals, some heated underwear and summoned Shoes the cat to sit under my armpit. After the initial scratching it’s not that bad, but…heavy sigh…it’s not the same as a Snuggie. Oh, Snuggie, when will you resume your interminable commercialls and present to me your 800 number again?

As I adapt, Snuggieless, here a few thought from the Attic…


- The Supreme Court just ruled to ease the limits on big business and labor unions when it comes to political contributions. Big business can now basically spend it’s millions in direct support of a candidate, or more in the true spirit of American politics, in direct opposition of a candidate. The health care industry and big corporations will now be able to proudly buy politicians that protect their interests right out in the open instead of behind closed doors. They might even be able to get them to wear pins and logos.

- Read an article in the Daily News the other day about Hershey's and Kraft fighting to aquire Cadbury chocolate. The News did an informal poll of some New Yorkers and they chose Hershey's as the best. Kraft's unedible and indecipherable "Toblerone" bar came in second while Cadbury placed a distant third. Cadbury third?! Only if it were pulled from the bottom of the pollster's shoe! Hershey's first? Please. Damned peasants.

- As I watch a good deal of sports I’ve noticed the latest, confusing, but must have accessorys of many athletes. The arm adornment. Be it the half single arm elbow wrap (reminiscent of 80’s leg warmers on the ladies but fancied now by basketball players) or the bicep garter on the football type, athletes all over this great globe are sporting these fashion statements and looking quite gladiator like. Now I’m sure the wearers of these new arm earings will tell you that they serve an actual sports purpose and are necessary for “game.” But in reality? Hey, I loved wrist bands when I was a kid, but they were just for looking cool and well, they still do I admit. I even put on one of Jagger’s John Cena wrist bands this morning and flexed a muscle or two to remember. But they are just wrist bands. Waiting on the next fad now. I’m thinking the bicep garter would look neat as an actual garter on the calfs of offensive lineman. Big fun at weddings in the ofseason.

- Well the New York Jets have continued their improbable run in the playoffs getting three missed field goals from a guy who hasn’t had multiple misses in a game since the mid 50’s it seems and now have just the Colts standing in the way of their first Super Bowl appearance since Broadway Joe’s pantyhose and famous guarantee. There is only one problem, and my apologies to New Yorkers, but I am not a fan of New York sports teams, at all, and now have to endure another week of the Jets being on the back page. It’s not as bad as having to do the same for coverage of the cursed Yankees and their recent World Series run but it’s damn close (never realized that World Series victories were Yankee entitlements and that when any other team won one it was only because the Yankees didn’t). It means another week of stories of Rex Ryan’s postseason itinerary going from having only golf penciled in to instead include a parade and stories of the prodigal’s unheard of rookie year (just don’t bring up how he fared in the weeks leading up to a rainbow on his wrist and the Rex Ryan claim that the Jets were done). I’m thinking of going to Lids for a Colts hat. Maybe that will help hold the headache I suddenly have at bay.

- Driving a 16 year old car, or in my current case not driving it, sucks in case anyone was curious.

- We do good number of tours of the stations in the building for Cub Scouts and Brownie’s and the like and we had another group in just the other day, Pack’s 122 and 134 from Poughkeepsie and Mohegan Lake. For me I really enjoy being able to host the kids if for nothing else than to show off for a moment, even if it is for a group of curious small people who mostly miss the showing off part. They’re just big fans of seeing a lot of cool buttons and switches that I tell them do stuff while reminding them to try not to touch the cools buttons and switches so that they don’t do stuff they shouldn’t. The mom’s and dad’s get it a little more and that’s great. Our stage is a bit solitary so being able to occasionally grab a spotlight is nice. One note, though, to broadcasters hosting such tours in the future. Try not to accidentally backhand one of the children you didn’t know was standing right behind you in front of the piece of equipment you normally just spin to and start almost blindly. You might hear a crack and see an embarrassed child who has no idea they might have, but didn’t, do anything wrong. “A little ice here please.”

- Walked past a TV the other day that had a commercial for the “Jersey Shore” on as I passed. My IQ dropped to about 7, even lower than it does whenever I see a member of the Kardashian family.

Hold up! I think I finally saw a new Snuggie ad. Oh, warm, luxurious Snuggie, answer my call as to the phone I fly…

Sunday, January 3, 2010

2009 and this possible new decade

Well another Holiday season has passed and the new year hopes to be an improvement on the last. Me? I’m all for that hope as my paycheck for one, and I’m sure yours, just wasn’t as effective at staying the wolves as it has been in the past and I know late January will test that ineffectiveness even more.

But for now I’m going to put that thought aside, remember these fine holidays and watch Shoes, my cat, fight with a Q-tip he took out of Maria’s little garbage can next to her makeup table. Apparently it said something about his mother. I was considering a year's end kind of thing but the inundation of bests of this, worsts of that, top 10’s, year in reviews, 2009’s greatest cheeses and such got to the saturation point as always.

Instead just one thought for now from the attic about those inevitable decade controversies that popped up as usual…

With the finish of this particular year, 2009, we experienced the arguments that have gone on at every decade’s or not decade’s end since the manger. At that time, time itself and the counting of it was magically reset at a later time by self important reverent folks to change the calendar from an actual undetermined start time, that was already being counted in another way by other self important reverent folks, to instead reflect the actual start time at the manger and give us a new system of counting time thus offering a great opportunity for future businesses at small bodegas in every mall in the world to make a killing selling kitten calendars. The argument is most passionate with those who feel that at the start of manger time, there wasn’t actually a year zero, that from the moment small screams could be heard in a meager shack by an assemblage of luminaries with expensive gifts, a step dad, an angel or two, a Sheppard and some farm animals, it was year 1. Thus an actual set of 10 years would only “officially” finish 9 years later leaving the beginning of new set of ten at 1 again. So in essence, 2000 + years later if you look back the “80’s” for example they would include 1990. Doesn’t sound quite right does it? These more passionate ones even include exclamation points in letters to the editor! Pretty heavy stuff. Technically, I guess, they’re correct but aesthetically and to the general public?

Now, to the credit of these so passionate if decades were measured the way they would like “Unskinny bop” and “Something to Believe in,” which came both out in 1990, would be classified as hits in the just one decade thus rendering any claims of success spanning two, thankfully mute. But, as it is, we’re all stuck with the hits of Poison covering a couple and we just have to live with it, just like we have to live with the fact that Brett Michael’s doo rag/cowboy hat libido just won’t go away another debatable decade or two later.

My thought, though, is that because manger time started in year 1 we take into account that that crying miraculous miracle was a newborn. He couldn’t count yet and when he could it was after disappearing for a few years while working on his carpenter’s card. Then he hit the public consciousness again, in a big way, and it was fishes this, wine that, throngs of devout everywhere he turned, bringing dead guys back to life etc. He didn’t have time to also think about a new system of day counting and the cuteness of kitten calendars. Plus he didn’t even know! “Hey, this whole messiah business has me a little preoccupied you know, plus, I’m not even aware that, in the future, a whole new system of calendar time counting bearing my mark will happen, but if I were I’d just say make the first of these decade things 9 years long and move on already. I don’t want to be responsible for the overly technical ones getting in a huff every 10 years and thinking the 80’s included 1990. What sense does that make? Poison having hits in only one decade is, really, all they should get…sorry gotta go, miracles, inspirational speeches, walking on water (really looking forward to this one by the way)…”

I for one consider this the start of a new decade if for nothing else than it makes the counting a hell of a lot easier. Plus, the aughts or whatever it is people will want to label this last decade seemed so much longer than ten years for too many reasons to list here. I just hope the new year holds some promise for all of us and I wish you well in it.

To a new year? Cheers and all the best.

-fb