A Season's Final Friday Night Light's Football Weekend's Not Pizza

Well, another season of High School Football games with Spectrum Sports and the coolest of cool crews is in the books, Me and BB done with our runs up Albany way for now. While we all finished up this weekend one more time, our broadcasts included the crowning of a few division champs, including Shenendahowa and Queensbury (and discovered, in the process, why Queensbury is a running football team as the few passes they did attempt were more blimps or alley-oops than anything else).

There was celebrating, there was crying, there was thanking the heavens and there was cursing the fates, but no participant trophies here. It's a win or lose kinda thing in the real sport's world, no middle ground. Kids anticipate, then kids celebrate or kids cry all with a hell of a lot drama, violent football sounds, screamed coaching obviousness, screamed fan obviousness and a lot of riveting and fun football in between.

I have to admit though, that I was feeling a little creaky on the sidelines this weekend, for the first time really, by the end of Saturday night's game. 10 straight weeks of leaving the regular gig a couple of hours short of a full day, the stress of trying to meet that couple of hours short 3:30p escape time deadline on busy radio production Fridays for a 4 hour round trip with 5 hours of a broadcast in between caught up with me, especially with this weekend being a double header. The cold didn't help either. Sorry, I SHOULD say, the fucking cold didn't help either. That first real cold of the year always feels a little bit more.

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The Trump Treehouse of Tall Stories, Treason and Tyranny - Ep #15: "New Oz Guards, Pointy Sticks And Dramatic Frothing Spittle"

Sign above the door: Home Of The He-Tin-Pot-Man Freedom Haters Club

ALARMS SOUNDING - (recorded voice of Jon Voight) INTRUDER ALERT!!! INTRUDER ALERT!!! HIGH PRIORITY INTRUDER ALERT AS A MATTER OF FACT!!! INTRUDER OF COLOR ALERT!!! INTRUDER ALERT...

Ben: (stops short, laser sight points hovering his chest/aimed weaponized contraptions popping out from every corner of the Treehouse with overdone mechanical clicking sounds, the distant din of jackboots and dog barks closing in) Whoa!! (drops tray of donuts and quarter pounders with cheese) What the fuck?!!

(Matt Gaetz & Brad Parscale in muscled garrish gold Oz-like guard uniforms, cossack hats, orange not green faces and tall Pikes topped with an upside down gruesomely serrated "T" rush Ben in the entrance of the Treehouse with blood and frothing spittle dripping from the corners of their faces)

Guard #1 in the credits (Matt): (dramatically wiping frothing spittle on his sleeve, finishing with a flourish and menacingly pointing his T-Pike) What the fuck, yeah now motherfucker!!

Guard #2 in the credits (Brad): (copying guard #1's dramatic frothing spittle wipe but with an extra flourish) ... yeh, right...what he said!...what the fuck, yeah now motherfucker!

Matt: Yeah! Who the hell are you and why ar...hey, did you just copy my dramatic frothing spittle wipe?

Brad: What?...No.

Matt: Yes you did.

Brad: No I didn't.

Matt: Yes you DID...I saw you...you did this (recreates frothing spittle wipe with flourish) but you added more flourish.

Brad: You like that? Pretty flourishy huh?

Matt: Hah! So you admit it? You did copy me!

Brad: What...umm...no...and that added flourish is all mine by the way.

Matt: I'm calling bullshit Brad, the frothing spittle wipe is my signature move along with my "back of chamber attempted though comical intimidating stare" and you just outright stole it.

Brad: Screw you Matt! You can't lay claim to a frothing spittle wipe, or an attempted intimidating stare for that matter, that's the same comical stare we all learned in "Glowering 101" at Trump U. Plus we all have frothing spittle these days, it's a freakin' frothing spittle fest out there for fuck's sake and it has to be wiped somehow, even on fine gold clothed sleeves...but that added flourish?...that's MY move. All ME
.
Matt: Oh, fuck off Brad...you and that Southern Poverty Law Center most wanted look of yours...

Ben: Hey guys?

Brad: ...listen to you pretty boy, Supreme Leader's pet an...

Ben: Hey guys?!

Matt & Brad: What?!!!

Ben: (petting the dogs) they look like they haven't eaten...they really scarfed up these donuts and burgers.

Matt: Jesus Christ, he's petting the dogs Brad! He's petting the fucking ATTACK dogs Brad!!

THE REST CAN BE FOUND HERE...FRANKENBERRY'S ATTIC