Sign above the door: Home Of The He-Tin-Pot-Man Freedom Haters Club
ALARMS SOUNDING - (recorded voice of Jon Voight) INTRUDER ALERT!!! INTRUDER ALERT!!! HIGH PRIORITY INTRUDER ALERT AS A MATTER OF FACT!!! INTRUDER OF COLOR ALERT!!! INTRUDER ALERT...
Ben: (stops short, laser sight points hovering his chest/aimed weaponized contraptions popping out from every corner of the Treehouse with overdone mechanical clicking sounds, the distant din of jackboots and dog barks closing in) Whoa!! (drops tray of donuts and quarter pounders with cheese) What the fuck?!!
(Matt Gaetz & Brad Parscale in muscled garrish gold Oz-like guard uniforms, cossack hats, orange not green faces and tall Pikes topped with an upside down gruesomely serrated "T" rush Ben in the entrance of the Treehouse with blood and frothing spittle dripping from the corners of their faces)
Guard #1 in the credits (Matt): (dramatically wiping frothing spittle on his sleeve, finishing with a flourish and menacingly pointing his T-Pike) What the fuck, yeah now motherfucker!!
Guard #2 in the credits (Brad): (copying guard #1's dramatic frothing spittle wipe but with an extra flourish) ... yeh, right...what he said!...what the fuck, yeah now motherfucker!
Matt: Yeah! Who the hell are you and why ar...hey, did you just copy my dramatic frothing spittle wipe?
Brad: What?...No.
Matt: Yes you did.
Brad: No I didn't.
Matt: Yes you DID...I saw you...you did this (recreates frothing spittle wipe with flourish) but you added more flourish.
Brad: You like that? Pretty flourishy huh?
Matt: Hah! So you admit it? You did copy me!
Brad: What...umm...no...and that added flourish is all mine by the way.
Matt: I'm calling bullshit Brad, the frothing spittle wipe is my signature move along with my "back of chamber attempted though comical intimidating stare" and you just outright stole it.
Brad: Screw you Matt! You can't lay claim to a frothing spittle wipe, or an attempted intimidating stare for that matter, that's the same comical stare we all learned in "Glowering 101" at Trump U. Plus we all have frothing spittle these days, it's a freakin' frothing spittle fest out there for fuck's sake and it has to be wiped somehow, even on fine gold clothed sleeves...but that added flourish?...that's MY move. All ME
.
Matt: Oh, fuck off Brad...you and that Southern Poverty Law Center most wanted look of yours...
Ben: Hey guys?
Brad: ...listen to you pretty boy, Supreme Leader's pet an...
Ben: Hey guys?!
Matt & Brad: What?!!!
Ben: (petting the dogs) they look like they haven't eaten...they really scarfed up these donuts and burgers.
Matt: Jesus Christ, he's petting the dogs Brad! He's petting the fucking ATTACK dogs Brad!!
THE REST CAN BE FOUND HERE...FRANKENBERRY'S ATTIC
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